Ok i finnaly broke down.

Smash The Echidna wrote:

I didn't give constructive criticism because I wasn't sure if you were serious or not. If I'm gonna give an overall review, lets get down to business then.

1: Who is the Big evil bad guy? And why is he already trying to kill him? Wouldn't he try to lay low and find out who he is and if he really is dangerous to his plans before sending someone out to kill him? That would really make him suspicious especially since he didn't get killed.

2: Its quite obvious that the two are gonna fall in love sooner or later. Are they even in close enough age for that? And also, its kinda generic for someone to be laughed at/bullied/made fun of/etc in their previous childhood. I'd avoid too much of that. The same goes for someone having foster parents and deciding to run away for whatever reason.

3: How did the villain know he beat 2 of his robots so soon? Was he watching them? If so, Wouldn't he see him and his daughter getting along rather than fighting to the death?

4: A program on Sonic makes him decide to run away, huh? What exactly was on it that made him want to get away from his foster parents? And were the robots standing right outside his door or in his lawn? Or did he run farther and end up in a different location? Gotta make sure people know where events are taking place or it will confuse everyone.

Work on those things and this should work out fine in the least. The story has some potential, its not too late to change anything. Its time for some serious brainstorming!

1. The BIG BAD DUDE, hasnt even been introduced. :P and This New-Zatic is immature, and doesnt look before he leaps. and really doesnt know how to fight well at all. He will probably find a teacher later on.

2. its...innocent. i actually got the idea from the disney channel. also, these romantic advances arent even wanted, so i cant go anywhere beyond the little comedy moments. infact he probably has the whole "cootie" complex going on. Because in the story, he rubs them off, and fast too. if it were a TV show, it could be quite funny XD. also I DONT WATCH DISNEY SO STFU. JUST S, TFU. also, you dont know what kind of world she grows up in. i want that to take some of the generic-ness away. i also mean, she ltterally tried to beat the tar out of New-Zatic when they first met. Also, Zatic runs from Home, Because he is unhappy with his life, which is quite generic, but it is not likley that in the storyline he will meet his parents.

3. If u read the story, she has problems she wouldnt rather talk about. and shes also repeatedly having her gender blamed for her fighting performance. and The Knowing of His robots being Beaten so fast? Um, i havent thought of that. He probably sent the badniks as surveilance ( did i spell it right?) Her Father wanted him dealt with, and fast. he doesnt want him to become a pain in the @$$ for him. considering seince New-Zatic is an alien, normal people would use weapons, rather than freezing and busting things apart.

4. On the Program he sees sonic doing amazing things. and comparing his life to his, he just wants a taste of adventure. hes already nothing like his foster parents, so they dont really care alot for him. and he doesnt care alot for them either.But when he meets his real parents, on a cold, icy planet, Billions and Billions of MILES away from the sun. Then, and Only then will he be urged to stay.one more thing. i dont think people would be putting marsh mallows on a fire outside the door, or on theyre lawn for one thing, i shoulda said so, but theyre in a rain forest with lots of tall trees. this works in Zatic's Favor, Because the moisture in the air is so good to freeze.


Anyway i Hope That could Solve some of my problems. :D

Thanks for the Reveiw dude. i got most of of my Ideas from TV and a List of the diffferent types of anime characters. i modeled her after the description of a "Dark Magical Girl". I posted a Link to the site with all the Differet Types. Above. Take a look if u dare.

...What?

What what?

What? o-o wat are u freaking out about. Is it something i posted?

Yes, because it made absolutely no sense. Then, human existence and emotions also don't make much sense, either.

Daniel the Hedgehog wrote:

Yes, because it made absolutely no sense. Then, human existence and emotions also don't make much sense, either.

I would deny that here, but it would go way off topic.

Meh, I can start from square one. and you guys could help me from there.

And ALSO, WE NEED A NAME FOR HIM

I need teh ideas. dont post generic names like blizzard ,Frost ,Freeze , Freezer ect.

Zatic The God wrote:

Meh, I can start from square one. and you guys could help me from there.

And ALSO, WE NEED A NAME FOR HIM

I need teh ideas. dont post generic names like blizzard ,Frost ,Freeze , Freezer ect.

His new name is bob.

How....Utterly Generic. I Hope you die in a House fire.

Zatic The God wrote:

How....Utterly Generic. I Hope you die in a House fire.

I was kidding, You Muffining Muffin.

Joe Cool wrote:

Zatic The God wrote:

How....Utterly Generic. I Hope you die in a House fire.

I was kidding, You Muffining Muffin.

I was too. OR WAS I!?

*is carrying a gallon of gasoline*

nah rly i am.

But seriously, i need a name =,=

Taylor? Topaz? Esteban?

Joe Cool wrote:

Taylor? Topaz? Esteban?

The main character is a boy. for one. and Your just being stupid =_=

Zatic The God wrote:

Joe Cool wrote:

Taylor? Topaz? Esteban?

The main character is a boy. for one. and Your just being stupid =_=

That was the point, And I was using a baby name generator.

lol. JEEZ.

name him Jennifer Lopez

J-LO?

Please guys enough joking.



Anyway, i found these i could edit, do these look alright?

I can't see that.

My name choice, Sain.

..............


SL, Those sprites could help me out a whole lot.


They should be alright for you to use. I don't see why not. Nice find.

I can't see the pic and the baby name generator keeps giving out nerd names.

I couldn't see it either. Quote his post and take the link from there to see it.

lolsauce. anyone got a name!? :D

If all else fails, use this. Warning, there's a lot of names here. I'm serious, there are.

Spoiler:

LOL, but i wanted the name to have meaning,

Sadly, I'm not sure if that's possible, if you don't want him to sound generic.